Sensation at Kaiser

Yesterday I had to take my baby to her 2month well baby visit at Kaiser. This is generally not a pleasant experience for me. I find that the medical establishment is not sensitive to the development of children in general. And I see that medical establishment as embodying most of the confusion and misunderstanding that the world has about how children grow and learn, and what well being is really all about for the family. But then this happened…

After any Kaiser appointment they print you an “after visit summary” that has growth charts and general info about baby care, development, etc. This morning I was reading through that document and was pleasantly surprised to read something that made me think, maybe there is hope that the rest of the world is finally catching on. I mean you can’t get more mainstream then your child’s well baby after visit summery from Kaiser Permanente. But it said right there under the “Normal Development for 2 month olds” section, “Cannot conceive of an object if it cannot be sensed.” Holy s#@t, I mean wow!

In that one statement lies the key to BodyBeing children (ages 0-7), sensation, it is all about sensation. The interesting thing is the language they chose, “cannot conceive of an object” they are saying that if the baby can’t sense it, it does not exist for them. If every Kaiser parent read that and understood it, oh how the world would change. I mean really understood it. BodyBeing children perceive their world through the “language” of sensation. They create sensation based maps of their world, if something is not sensed it does not go on the map, it is not part of the child’s world, simple as that. If everyone recognized this, paid attention to the sensations they project into the world, children would be nourished physically and psychologically beyond measure and the ripple effect would be incredible. May it be so.

The edge of the Pearl

Went to see a building this week, right on the edge of the Pearl District. Bummers: it is right by the 405 freeway so there is a lot of traffic noise, it has no current green space, the windows don’t open, it is currently listed with a $5mil price tag. Greatnesses: It is right on the street car line making field trips with the kids an easy fun thing, it is the perfect amount of space at 10,000sqft a floor and 2 floors, the ceilings are nice and high, it is relatively open inside with tons of natural light, it sits in an area of Portland where the PDC would love to see a school (according to an unofficial source the mayor would welcome a school in the area and there would be funds available to make the building what it needs to be for a school’s use – in other words we would not have to fight the city, we would have their support), it has a parking lot, it has an LA fitness right across the street that might be willing to share facilities with us, there is a new park that is going in 2 blocks away, and the BEST part is that the owners of the building want to see us in there and are very excited to keep the building what it is instead of changing it into a glass and concrete tower like so many other buildings in the Pearl.

Next steps: take our architect through the space and get his take on it today. Have our architect and the owner’s architects talk number and see what it would cost to bring the 1929 building’s systems up to code for an educational use. Talk with the city about money that might be available for repurposing the space. Crunch all the numbers and plug them into our business plan to see if we can make it work. Is this “the one”?

Quick note about zoning and use

Just a quick note to say that I am currently frustrated and tired of looking through the city of Portland's website to try and figure out what our zoning and use requirements are. Since we will be a private school this is a little more complicated because we actually don't have to follow state rules and such. I am enlisting the help of everyone I can think of and am hoping that some light can be shed on this most confusing of processes. You see in order to find a perfect home for my endeavor, it would be most helpful to know what our city use requirements will be. Zoning is a little easier, but the city has rules about what types of things any particular building can be used for. So we have to match the use with the building, or rather we have to be sure that the building that we find has the right zoning and use assigned to it, or if it doesn't we will have to apply for a conditional use permit. Anyone done this before and have some suggestions?

Asphalt and Education

The other day as I was driving home from a trip to Sauvie Island it struck me. It happened just as my car went from the loud familiar whirr of the freeway to the sudden silence of new asphalt. Thank you stimulus package and president Obama. Let me first state that I am/was an Obama supporter – I have the women for Obama t-shirt which I proudly wore during his campaign. However, as I was saying when my car was suddenly quietly purring down the newly paved highway, I realized that the money paving this road could have gone elsewhere. Like say, oh, education. Let’s see education or asphalt, hmmm… Why did my president pick asphalt? When you put the two next to each other there seems very little contest, support the precious minds of the next generation, or the rubber tires of our gas guzzling “freedom” boxes.

I was suddenly filled with rage. How stupid. How could our president – Mr. Change, Mr. Hope support asphalt over education. I don’t get it. I mean what is really important? If he had the choice between sending his beloved girls to a good education or repaving his driveway, I would like to think that he would choose education. But I guess now I am not so sure. And what about Oregon and our progressive ideas? No, we want new asphalt too. Well, not me, I want educational reform. I want the next generation to grow up loving themselves and knowing their strength, knowing that they matter and that their love counts. I want them to realize that if they are the change they want to see in the world, it will make a difference. But I guess I feel a little bit helpless in the face of this new asphalt and what it seems to represent. Not such a good day for education. I would have thought that such an experience would bring me new energy to achieve my goal, but instead I am left feeling a little deflated and helpless. Well, at least I have a smooth ride home to mull it all over… damn!

Map a home

This map hangs in my office on the wall. It shows all the private schools in Portland with nice little neat color coordinated tags. I use it whenever I go out to scout a potential home for this EO. It took me a long time to make. Well, one day my three and half year old decided it needed her touch. So she climbed up on the table and took the pens and made it "pretty". It now not only serves its purpose as a map for finding a home, but is also a reminder that three and half year old's make the world so much more interesting!

Well-Being for all

This morning I was perusing some sites I frequent (see list to the right) and I read this on one of them, “…[a] state of mind in which you're willing to allow Well-Being into your experience no matter what the conditions. To me, Well-Being is an ever-present, always available resource. You don't need to earn it, you just have to let it in! Children are naturally allowing in this way, but over time they learn to disallow the experience of Well-Being under certain conditions. Our cultural values are conditional: we grew up learning that happiness has to be earned. Conventional schooling is a major factor in the formation of the conditional worldview and the habit of disallowing Well-Being.” http://www.enjoyparenting.com/hem-interview

My immediate thought: What would this world be like if it was normal or more common for people to let Well-Being in? My answer: Radically different. I see this inability to allow the natural experience of Well-Being, as the root cause of so much unnecessary suffering in this world. For example, think about what would happen to prejudice (a deep lack of trust) if everyone had an experience of Well-Being instead of feeling like it was a scarce resource that had to be earned. It would disappear or at least be greatly diminished because everyone would be able to experience themselves as trustworthy whole beings and so that would ripple outwards.

In the Educational Opportunity (EO) that I am creating, my focus in terms of curriculum will be focused on Well-Being. I think it is so important to nurture and feed that in children instead of making it something they have to earn. I say death to gold stars and A’s and oh yeah to the celebration of the greatness that lives in all children (and in ourselves)!

Rites of Passage

This last weekend my dad, Ba (www.luvmourconsulting.com), went to Ashland to teach a group of FeelingBeing boys and their mentors (www.boystomensouthernoregon.org) how to use Natural Learning Rhythms in Rites of Passage for 9-12 year old boys. [For more on Natural Learning Rhythms and BodyBeing, FeelingBeing, IdealBeing and ReasonableBeing go to www.EnCompassInstitute.org and look for the first three chapters of the book Ba and I are writing coming soon to this blog.]

In my life I have participated both personally and professionally in many Rites of Passage. It is such an incredible opportunity to mark natural transitions in our lives. I have had several in my life: one marking my transition into womanhood at age 14, one at 19 marking the transition to “adulthood”, one as part of my wedding, and one on my 30^th birthday after we found out I was pregnant with our first child. These ceremonies are carefully designed with five steps to mark transition in a very sacred way. First there is the acknowledgement of the old (finding those things that no longer serve us), followed by the casting off of the old (letting said old things go), followed by the gap (moving into unknown territory), followed by the acknowledgement of the new (attributes and qualities we now possess or hope to), followed by the celebration (yay, you are you and oh how wonderful you are).

It strikes me that as a society we are seriously lacking in this department. We have graduations (a paltry excuse for marking a transition), weddings (usually only contain the last of these steps) and that about does it. No good. I have seen children and their families completely transformed through the Rite of Passage process. EnCompass used to run a Rite of Passage camp specifically designed to take the whole family through these steps, it was unparalleled in its transformative power. So when Ba came back from Ashland and told me about his weekend, I was reminded of the power these types of experiences hold. I am determined to have Rites of Passage play a role in my children’s lives. Specifically they will have one in each of the major developmental transitions of childhood, but I am also wondering if there is a way to include this type of experiences in the educational opportunity I design for them. Hmmm… food for thought.

Marketing

This is an interesting notion. What the heck is marketing anyway? For me it is this thing that I know is necessary, but that I just don’t understand and it always seems to be just out of reach. Or maybe a better way to say it… it seems like it is always just three steps beyond the edge of my universe. However, for this educational venture I am sure it will be necessary.

In a recent board meeting this mysterious ‘thing’ was discussed in some detail. I thought it very interesting that everyone seemed to share in my sentiments: it is in fact necessary, it does seem rather amorphous, it is incredibly expensive and we can all only take our best guess as to which way we should approach it.

My best guess: head on. Like most things that seem large and lurking in the shadows, if we shine a light right on them they take shape and are then much easier to address. Fact is I will need people in Portland (and then maybe the world at large) to know about said educational venture so that they can join the journey by enrolling. Part of me thinks, just keep chipping away and someday someone will notice me and say “Wow, nice work, mind if I take a photo and share it with my friends?” Of course this could take eons. Perhaps a better tactic would be to ask for the help of some incredibly creative individuals who handle this monster for a living: www.owenjonesandpartners.com. They probably know what they are doing and all I have to do is help them understand what we are doing so that they can do their thing and then presto – we will all be famous! Still I have a feeling we will need a lot of luck, a serious amount of sweat equity and diamond clarity of vision.

A physical home

One of my main jobs at the moment is to find a physical place for this educational expression to coalesce. This is harder than it sounds. There are many considerations and so many cool places in Portland. After creating a list of criteria, we find possible buildings. But more importantly I open myself to a space when I tour a building. I let myself imagine children in the space, how would they flow through it? How would the space influence them and how would they influence it? Are there opportunities for learning built into it? Are there nooks and crannies – places like I used to find in the Buckeye trees of our backyard when I was a kid.

The idea of space’s influence on us is not a new one, but it is new to me to consider it in this way. We have an architect we are working with and he is always filling my head with new perspectives on space. An architect moves through space in a totally unique way. A mother moves through space in a totally unique way. And an urban commercial real estate agent moves through space in a totally unique way. Put all those unique perspectives together and you get a taste for what this process has been like.

So what have I seen? Old brick buildings built in the early 20’s, like the old City Water Building, complete with unique features like a water powered freight elevator and beautiful red brick architecture, huge wood framed windows and sloping floors. Warehouses that are like open shells with vast wood beamed ceilings just waiting to be loved and completely re-purposed. 4-20 story office buildings in the heart of downtown with commercial carpeting and halls of cubicles and possible opportunities for rooftop play areas. This part of the process has given me a new appreciation for our town and the diversity in its buildings. But where does it leave me in terms of finding a home. Realizing that we could fit into a lot of different types of spaces. Realizing that it is the partnership opportunities with the building owners, tenants and commercial developers that are going to make the difference. I have to find the right fit, and that means looking at the whole picture, it may seem obvious to most, but to me it has been a new learning.

In the beginning...

What was it that Groucho Marx said, “I was born at a very young age”? That is about how we all begin, naked, vulnerable and brand new. And then we grow and develop in response to our own inherent greatness and in relationship to our environments, physical, emotional and psychological. I was brought up in a non-traditional household and I developed ideas and ideals about the world, my role in it and what kind of parent I would be when I “grew up”.

Well, then I had two children of my own and I have begun to see that so many of those ideas and ideals are not in fact mine, or perhaps it is more accurate to say that development never stops. I am developing in this very moment, as these words flow out through my hands, my perspectives and ideas about things are changing in response to what I experience, who I am in the world and how I perceive myself.

When I gave birth to my second child, two months ago, my life changed forever. Not in some dramatic way, but in the simplest everyday type of way that just creeps in and takes over, like blackberry vines in your garden. A certain urgency to get on with my life, to find out what I will be when I “grow up” is one persistent tendril. Being the observant person that I am, I recognized that shift and plan to keep close track of it and you can too as you read along. So why is this taking the form of creating an educational opportunity for my children? I know that my children (now 3 ½ ad 2 months) will grow up much faster than originally anticipated and will need an education along the way. However, the options that are out there, are for the most part scary, unappealing, frightening… the adjectives could keep coming, but you get the idea. The two dove tail nicely I think, my need to find my vocation and the need my children have for an education.

So what qualifies me? Well, first I am a mom and every mother no matter her background is an educator (fathers too). Second, I have spent the last 15 years working with a non-profit who’s mission is the well-being of children and families. For more about that read here, www.EnCompassInstitute.org. The truth is I have to send my kids to school and I don’t like my options and I think I (and the people I work with) can do better. So follow this blog if you are a mother, an educator, a politician, a grandparent, an uncle, a brother, a sister, follow this blog if you are human and have children in your life. Follow along with me as I fumble my way through the starting of an educational opportunity for my children and the children of this community. Hopefully we will all learn something in the process and with any amount of luck the ripples of where this journey leads will be felt throughout the world.